Hey what’s up Thinkers! Kathy Gibbens here…
Welcome back! Today, I wanted to start off by sharing a review that a listener left on Instagram, and by the way, if you’re on Instagram, be sure to follow me at Filter It Through a Brain Cell! So anyways, this is what she said, “We are still listening to this podcast. It has been such a good addition to our routine. It’s so important that we use our brains well and that we teach our kids how to think so that they will NOT be easily influenced and manipulated by people and the world around them. We have also been talking about how when we argue points, how important it is that we don’t use fallacies but actually good arguments and actually address the issues being discussed!” Oh my goodness, yes, yes, yes! This mama gets it! That’s exactly WHY we need to be teaching good thinking to our kids and why we need to be learning it ourselves. I don’t know about you, but I wasn’t taught this in school, so I’m now learning it as an adult right alongside my own daughter. And I think it’s fun!
Since you’re listening to this podcast, I know you’re interested in learning & teaching your child HOW to think, not just what to think. Have you also considered homeschooling your kids? Do you wonder if you could really do it? Our sponsor, Classical Conversations, is a homeschool program that cultivates strong critical thinkers in a local community by following a Christ-centered curriculum rooted in the classical model. And don’t worry, before we started with them, I didn’t know what the Classical model was either! To learn more about this unique program and to get two free downloadable e-books, just fill out the form at classicalconversations.com/gibbens.
Alright, let’s dive into today’s new fallacy, the Job’s Comforter Fallacy. Now, I’ll say this, in my research, I’ve found that there’s some disagreement on whether this is an actual fallacy or not, meaning some people don’t think it’s technically a logical fallacy, but rather that it’s just something people do that’s not always based in truth, and I can see that as well. But, Job’s Comfort is definitely something people do and it can come from wrong thinking, so for me, that’s all I need to give it its own episode.
The Job’s Comforter Fallacy happens when someone blames the person who is suffering as having caused their own suffering rather than offering genuine comfort or support to the person. Or they offer misguided and insensitive arguments for why the person’s suffering is happening.
The phrase "Job's comforter" refers to a biblical character named Bildad who appears in the Book of Job in the Bible. In the context of the story of Job, Bildad and two other friends attempt to console Job, who is suffering greatly. Instead of providing genuine comfort or support, they engage in a series of misguided and insensitive arguments that essentially blame Job for his own suffering. This pattern of misguided attempts at comfort is often associated with the term "Job's comforter." For real - go read the account of Job if you haven’t ever read it - it’s fascinating, and you’ll want to read all the way to the end of the book because Job suffers greatly & his friends, and even his wife are no comfort to him but in the end, God redeems his suffering.
Here’s what this might sound like: Carter says, "I've been feeling really overwhelmed and anxious lately. I'm struggling to cope with the workload in school this year." Jesse, (aka Job's Comforter) responds: "Well, maybe you're just not managing your time properly. You should try to be more organized and efficient. That should solve your problems." Ok, so could it be true that the whole reason Carter is feeling overwhelmed is because of his time management? Maybe. But can you see how, in this example, Jesse's response minimizes Carter’'s feelings of being overwhelmed and anxious. Instead of providing empathy and support, Jesse just gives a simplistic solution without fully understanding the complexities of the situation. This response ignores the emotional aspect of the issue and can feel dismissive & uncaring. Jesse walks away feeling like he just solved all of Carter’s problems and Carter walks away feeling even worse. Did Jesse consider that there may be other factors contributing to Carter’s overwhelm, like the fact that his family just moved, he’s at a new school with much higher standards and he just started a part-time job?
Here’s another example: Faith tells her best friend: "I've been going through a tough breakup, and I'm feeling really down and heartbroken." Her best friend Gabby says, "Oh please, you totally should have seen this coming. We all knew he wasn’t right for you and it's better that it ended." In this scenario, Gabby responds to Faith's emotional distress by pointing out what she perceives to be flaws in the guy Faith was dating. While Gabby’s intention may be to offer perspective, she totally has no empathy and makes no attempt to validate Faith's feelings. It implies that Faith should have predicted the outcome and that her pain is somehow justified or deserved.
Now, is it true that sometimes people’s suffering is directly caused by their own choices & actions? Absolutely! There’s lots of instances where that’s the case. And in that case, pointing that out to the person in a loving way is NOT a Job’s Comforter fallacy. That’s telling the truth in love, which is what we’re supposed to do. Now, how we do it matters, of course, but that’s not what this fallacy is about.
The Job’s Comforter fallacy happens when the person giving the so-called comfort is ignoring the fact that the suffering may not be the person’s fault, as we know it wasn’t in the case of Job…he didn’t do anything to cause his suffering! And often, when someone is suffering, there’s a complex set of circumstances that’s not easily explained. So, while it’s not a formal fallacy, the "Job's Comforter fallacy" can be seen as a type of bad reasoning that involves invalid attempts at consoling or providing advice and, unfortunately, it may inadvertently contribute to the person's suffering.
Here’s one last example of what this can sound like, and I know this happens because I’ve had friends who this type of thing has happened to! Ruth has cancer and she tells her co-worker: "I've been going through chemo the last 3 months, and it's been really challenging. I feel so exhausted and frustrated that I can’t do the things I’m used to doing." To which her co-worker replies: "You should just trust God & pray more and focus on the good things in life. Your mindset will make all the difference."
In this case, the co-worker is responding to Ruth's struggles with a simplistic suggestion to, “Just trust God & pray more & focus on good things.” And yes, I’m purposely talking about people of faith here, because it’s easy to give nice-sounding platitudes to people, or as I like to call them, ‘Sunday School’ answers, but it totally misses the heart of the person standing in front of us. While trusting God and praying and having a positive mindset are all good things to do, the co-worker’s response totally overlooks the complexities of managing a chronic illness like cancer. It downplays the physical and emotional toll that the illness may have on Ruth and completely fails to give genuine understanding or support.
So, the question to ask yourself when you find yourself in a situation where you are offering comfort to a person who is suffering is this: “What does this person really need to hear right now?” *repeat*
Remember: When you learn HOW to think, you will no longer fall prey to those who are trying to tell you what THEY want you to think and it all starts with asking one simple question: “Is that really true?”
